Telling Your Story

Our stories are sacred. The significant people, places and events of our lives continue to impact how we approach each day, each decision, each relationship in the present. Knowing our stories – the good, the painful, the successes, the failures and how they effect us today – is critical in our apprenticeship to Jesus. To live joyfully in the present, it requires us to go back to break free from the past. We need to know our stories and bring them into the presence of God to be redeemed.

During this phase, each person will have a night to share their story. We invite everyone to prayerfully reflect and plot out their life story a timeline with significant people, places and events. Put the positive ones above the line and the more challenging ones below the line. As you do this, reflect on how those different moments shaped your relationship with God and how they shaped you as a person. Below is a little snapshot of what we mean.

We all want to be deeply known and, while this process can’t be fast tracked, a way of allowing people to know us is to share your story.

Taking the courageous step to tell our stories with those in our groups brings us into something we all desperately need: authentic community. Where the world would have us settle for living lives of functional individualism, pretence and shamed-based secrecy we are seeking to build honest, emotionally-healthy, contending communities that will loyally cheer each other on into spiritual maturity.

Top Tips

  • Prepare each week. Prepare whether you are listening or sharing. Take time to pray. This is sacred work.

    Also, writing out your story on the timeline isn’t going to be a five minute job. We recommend you set aside a couple of hours somewhere quiet to reflect, pray and ask God to speak to you about your life. Then, set it aside and come back to it a few days or a week later and see what else you remember. Our prayer is that filling in the story itself would be an intimate encounter with Jesus

    Take time to reflect on the significant people, places, and events. As you look back over your story pay attention to patterns of behaviour and thinking? Where have you seen God at work?

  • Take the whole gathering just for one person to share. Don’t rush it. Giving your story space will enable better reflection and the chance to meet with Jesus through it.

    We recommend you try to do it in the evening so you have nowhere else to be after.

  • It is a privilege to listen to someone’s story, to properly honour the moment.

    Ensure there are no distractions, and you don’t need to rush off

    This is a listening exercise, so it is important to not give advice or share your own experience, even if they are similar

    If you have been given to ask permission questions, keep them focused on how their story is impacting the present, not on the details about past. For example, “I’m curious, how that experience has shaped your faith?” rather than “Tell me more about how your mum treated you when you were young?”

    Before you speak, take time to pause and invite the spirit to prompt you. Be careful to speak out of your own anxiety or need to fix.

  • We are committed to working hard to provide safety for everyone using this resource. Feeling safe is vital to being vulnerable. Establish principles of confidentiality that everyone understands and is happy with.

    While confidentiality is important, if there is a concern for the welfare and safety of the person sharing, or others, then it is important that you seek external help and speak to a member of the St Gregory’s team. Click here for more info on safeguarding. If you feel able, we courage to be transparent with the person involved that you are going to speak to someone.

    If at any point, you feel unsafe in the group because of comments or behaviour, again please do get in touch with a member of the team.

  • If you feel able, give people permission on the night to ask follow up, or clarifying, questions. Sharing your story is sacred work, when people respond with questions and feedback, you have permission to pause, direct the flow of the conversation or choose not respond to a question or comment.

  • Make sure after a person has shared that they receive prayer. It can be a vulnerable thing to share personal things with others. You may want to pray for particular themes that came up.

  • Every time you listen to someone’s story, take time to remind each other of the framework of the group. You are all taking responsibility to create as a safe an environment as possible for the person sharing to be able to be vulnerable. It is a holy ground hearing someone’s story so you need to prepare to listen well and tread carefully.

  • Rhythms groups cannot replace professional services and most of us are not experts counsellors. We are all learning to be better listeners and grow in courage to share our stories. It is important to go slowly, and to check in with ourselves and each other regularly. We are all learners and are not perfect, so do try to extend grace to each other along the journey.